Minggu, 18 Maret 2012

African Subjugation Part Three: The Six-Cent Birr Note

A couple months ago we went to this “resort” town Debre Libanos about fifty miles outside of Addis Ababa for the weekend. I woke up one morning, headed straight for the outhouse, and let loose. As I was wrapping up the session, I realized there was no toilet paper in the stall. The bowel movement was around a 7 on a 1-10 scale, with 1 being a sphincter-severing rock and 10 being pure liquid. This was not a scenario in which I could simply hike up my jeans and move along.

I quickly surveyed the stall. There was a wastebasket containing some disposed tissues, but they were flecked with blood. No one else was around, and the outhouse was far enough removed from the compound that yells for help would go unheard.

I generally bring a book with me to the commode, but this time had left it in my room in my haste.

It was then that I remembered I had a single birr note in my pocket, worth about six US cents.

Money is about the filthiest thing on the planet and birr rapidly disintegrates into cupcake paper, but this note was relatively clean and crisp. It was the clear option.

I hesitated. What could be more colonially haughty than wiping your ass with another country’s currency? The symbolism was brutally overt. Six cents, I kept saying to myself. Six cents.

What do you do?

Sabtu, 17 Maret 2012

The Wild Ride


With Duke's shocking loss clearing the path to the regional final in the South region, tonight's game against Baylor would be the biggest Colorado men's basketball win in fifty nine years.

Go Buffs!

Sabtu, 10 Maret 2012

Great Moments in Sportsfandom


Bussing forty minutes across the city to one of the two hotels in town with high-speed wifi, hunkering down in an abandoned lobby, fistpumping and nail-chomping your way through an improbable, gutwrenching playoff win from your favorite team on a grainy pirated feed while the staff looks on in confused amusment...then doing it all over again sixteen hours later.

I love Ethiopia.

I love Colorado.

Kamis, 08 Maret 2012

Two Months In

Some things I miss:
  • Seasons
  • Audio speakers
  • My own room
  • Lawns
  • Sushi
  • Poker


Some things I don't:

  • Red Meat
  • Clothes
  • My condo
  • Porn
  • Words With Friends
  • Drinking
  • Driving
  • TV

Rabu, 07 Maret 2012

February Top 15


15. Griffin House - Let My People Go
14. Wilco - Black Moon
13. The Beatles - Dear Prudence
12. Griffin House - Standing at the Station
11. Griffin House - Native

10. Griffin House - Gotta Get Out
9. Griffin House - She Likes Girls
8. Bob Dylan - Visions of Johanna
7. Griffin House - River City Lights
6. Loreena McKennitt - Skellig

5. Metric - Gimme Sympathy
4. Griffin House - If You Want To
3. Black Rebel Motorcycle Club - Salvation
2. Griffin House - Just Another Guy

Song of the Month: Green Day - Welcome To Paradise

Senin, 05 Maret 2012

African Subjugation Part Two: The Equatorial Conundrum

Obviously southern (equatorial) civilizations lagged way behind northern "Western" civilizations economically and technologically heading into the twentieth century, which led to subjugation, which led to the backwards and broken societies we have today. What I don't understand exactly is how, when, and why the equatorial part of the world fell behind. The only explanation I've heard is that the colder weather of the North forced its peoples to develop the technology to combat the cold while simultaneously restricting them from depending on purely agrarian pursuits. Anyone who could shed some more light on this topic and/or recommend a book or other source of information would be greatly appreciated. Anthropology, geography, and history majors - we're looking at you.

Selasa, 28 Februari 2012

African Subjugation Part One: The Ethiopian Anomaly


Before we dig into international relations, let’s establish the curious circumstances surrounding Ethiopia. With the exception of South Africa, Ethiopia is arguably the most comprehensively unique country in Africa. Ethiopia is one of two African countries (the other being Liberia, which is quite another story) that retained sovereignty throughout the twentieth century. Ethiopia was occupied by Italy for five years preceding World War II, but has otherwise avoided imperialism. This is the prevailing theory as to why Ethiopians are so friendly towards foreigners (read: The White Man) – their experience with whites is not one of conquest and villainy.

With a population of 85 million, Ethiopia ranks second to Nigeria amongst African countries. The population growth rate is 3.2%, one of the highest figures in the world. Mass urban migration to the sprawling metropolis of Addis Ababa is rapidly changing the economy from one of agricultural domination to soft industrialization, though the majority of the people still belong to a strictly agrarian society.

Most interestingly, Ethiopia is the most populous landlocked country in the world. This is not an enviable position. Ethiopia is forced to trade through the Horn’s ports in Eritrea, Djibouti, and Somalia. This trying situation is made more problematic by jagged relations with Somalia and Eritrea, the latter which is more or less at war with Ethiopia. The products Ethiopia does export from the Horn – coffee, khat, and traditional fruits and vegetables – aren’t exactly golden egg-laying hens. There is little oil inside Ethiopia. Still, Ethiopia has the agricultural capability to export huge amounts of food to surrounding countries, and was even called a potential "breadbasket for Europe" by the New York Times if they could ever organize their agricultural industry. Ethiopia does have one intriguing 21st Century resource - water - but the surrounding need is not yet desperate.

This leaves Ethiopia as a large, rapidly expanding country with limited opportunity for economic refreshment. The people of Ethiopia are poor - almost all of them.

And this is where things get interesting. I was always under the impression that poverty and crime had a directly causal relationship, but Ethiopia has little crime and almost none of it is violent. Before coming out here I assumed that was because there were no weapons (false - AK-47s are more ubiquitous than wireless routers) or there was something distinctly unique about the culture, but I now believe the explanation is a little simpler. About a month ago, in a debate on the right to bear arms, a wise man told me his theory why Ethiopia has so little crime:

Because everyone is poor. The lack of an upper class eliminates potential conflict. It's not poverty that begets crime, it's the explicit gap between the upper and lower class. If there's nothing worth stealing, stealing's not worth it. Contrast this with the most violent places in America, cities like Los Angeles and St. Louis, and it becomes self-explanatory. There are a lot of reasons why crime isn't an issue here, but that's the most plausible.

Despite its sustained independence, Ethiopia certainly hasn't been immune to the vagaries of hegemony. I'll discuss more later - and explain why I can't right now.