Book Update

The fourth draft of my book is finished and I am now on the hunt for a literary agent. Any contacts and or recommendations would be greatly appreciated.

Week Eight Picks

Like:

NINERS -8.5 over Browns
RAMS +13.5 over Saints

If forced to choose:

Chargers -3.5 over CHIEFS
Patriots -2 over STEELERS
BRONCOS +2 over Lions
Redskins + 4.5 over BILLS
Dolphins +9 over GIANTS
Cardinals +12 over RAVENS
Vikings +3.5 over PANTHERS
Colts +8.5 over TITANS
Jaguars +9 over TEXANS
EAGLES -3 over Cowboys
SEAHAWKS +2 over Bengals

Lock season record: 0-0
Really like season record: 1-1
Like season record: 15-14-1
If forced to choose season record: 35-35-1
All games season record: 51-50-2

The Running Back Rankings

My comprehensive rankings of all the relevant NFL running backs of 2011.

Week Eight Power Rankings

The Juggernaut
1. Green Bay (1)

The Contenders
2. New England (2)
3. New Orleans (3)

The Sub-Contenders
4. Pittsburgh (6)
5. San Diego (4)

The Sneakers
6. Philadelphia (7)
7. Dallas (8)

The Undefined
8. Baltimore (5)
9. San Francisco (12)
10. Houston (15)
11. Buffalo (10)
12. Detroit (9)
13. New York Jets (13)
14. Atlanta (14)
15. New York Giants (11)

Offensively Offensive
16. Chicago (18)
17. Tampa Bay (17)
18. Tennessee (16)
19. Cincinnati (21)
20. Oakland (23)

The Best of the Bad
21. Carolina (22)
22. Kansas City (25)
23. Washington (19)
24. Minnesota (24)

Sucky
25. Miami (20)
26. Arizona (26)
27. Denver (27)
28. St. Louis (28)
29. Seattle (29)
30. Cleveland (30)
31. Jacksonville (31)

Lucky
32. Indianapolis (32)

Week Seven Picks

Like:

DOLPHINS -1 over Broncos
Ravens -7.5 over JAGUARS
Seahawks +3 over BROWNS
Chiefs +4 over RAIDERS
Rams +13.5 over COWBOYS

If forced to choose:

Steelers -4 over CARDINALS
JETS +2 over Chargers
Packers -9 over VIKINGS
SAINTS -13.5 over Colts
Texans +3 over TITANS
Bucs +1 over Bears
PANTHERS -2.5 over Redskins
LIONS -3.5 over Falcons

Lock season record: 0-0
Really like season record: 1-1
Like season record: 14-11
If forced to choose season record: 30-32-1
All games season record: 45-44-1

Week Six Observations

Week Six Observations, including "Vegas Style" power rankings no one wants to admit but wouldn't challenge with their money.

Thoughts on Taking a Piss

I have been thinking a lot lately about urination. Most of the time you go to the bathroom it is a thoroughly neutral, unmemorable act. Your body tells you it's time to pee. It starts as a faint feeling in your lower abdomen. Usually you just go find somewhere to potty and that's the end of it. You let it out, perhaps while playing Words With Friends, texting, or reading a book. Then you move on with life.

Every once in a while, you find yourself in a situation where you can't just go. The memorable situation for me was on the bus to cross-country meets in high school. We'd hydrate all day, then get on a 90-minute bus ride to Eaglecrest or Cherry Creek or wherever. The end of the ride was misery.

But the payoff was glorious. When you finally get to unleash after stewing about it for an hour or more, grimacing over it, sucking it up into your teeth, feeling that horrific burning/stabbing/throbbing in your bag, it feels marvelous. I can't remember 99.9% of the pees I've taken but I could write books about the 0.1% most desperate defecations of my life.

And that's how it is. All the best things in life are better when you have to earn them, when you go through Hell to get to them, when there's pain before the payoff. The sweet just isn't as sweet without the bitter. If I've learned anything over the last couple years, it's that mobility to the same place is a hundred times better than stagnation at the same place.
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For those keeping score at home, we've now tackled pooping, vomiting, and peeing in the last couple months. Stay tuned for the bloodletting blog.